Editor’s note: We all love movies, but rather than ask a syndicated columnist who has never visited our beautiful High Desert, we commissioned our own local movie critic: Nolan P. Smith to review films and give us a local perspective. Enjoy!
High Desert Daily
(Victor Valley)—Not all movies are masterpieces, and that’s ok. The way I see it, if a movie is an enjoyable experience, then it did its job, it served its purpose. When it comes to lower grade horror movies, that’s the outlook I usually have. I don’t care if a film doesn’t win any awards or warrant any sequels, just entertain me. That was my mindset going in to watch Creature, a film I literally knew nothing about.
I wish it had stayed that way: I wish I knew nothing about this film, because now after seeing it I am full of regrets. The film tells the tale of a crocodile/man hybrid beast that is a legend in a small Louisiana town. Six friends stop off at a gas station and learn of the legend, and go to see a landmark connected with it. From there, the film goes up in flames, literally. The acting from the six “friends” is horrid, but that is kind of expected in a movie like this. Sid Haig (House of a 1,000 Corpses, Devil’s Rejects) is the biggest name attached to the film, but he does nothing to save this travesty to motion pictures.
What could have been a simple, check your brain at the door horror flick became a filth laden, perverted, incensed riddled waste of around two hours of my life. By about the midway point, the film had lost any hope of being salvageable and continued to train wreck. What about the monster? The look and feel of the Creature is like the 90’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rubber suits, but not in a good way. With no moveable jaw on the costume and the eye socket clearly visible and unpainted on the actor, I can’t see anyone being frightened of this thing.
Usually I go a little more in depth on films in reviews, but for this one, trust me, less is better. I have watched movies my entire life, with only a handful ranking up there as awful; DC Comic’s Jonah Hex and this year’s Colombiana being the most recent of those films. Forget those two and anything else on my list; this is the worst film I have ever seen. It’s no surprise the film had one of the worst openings of all time. So, if you are the Cinemark Theaters at the Mall of Victor Valley and see “Creature” playing and think it might be fun: STOP AND RUN! Or go see any other film at the theater, you will be doing yourself a huge favor.